At least that’s the way this scenario was supposed to play out. But miraculously enough, the travails of “Civil Wars”–the season’s most anticipated show, even if it’s showing up in midseason–have a surprise ending. Contrary to every TV producer’s most sacrosanct conviction, the dreaded hand of network interference actually helped. While “Civil Wars,” which debuts Nov. 20, may not match Bochco’s best (“Hill Street Blues” and “L.A. Law”), it’s the smartest, tangiest and most appealing drama series ever to undergo involuntary cosmetic surgery.
Not that ABC has overprettified. The lawyers in this case (played by Mariel Hemingway and Peter Onorati) specialize in divorce and, right from the knockout opening credits, you know that theirs is a dirty job. As home movies of rapturous wedding scenes flash by, we hear a litany of marital endearments. From: “I don’t want your girlfriend around our kid.” To: “Would you like to know just how much I hate you at this moment?” Clearly, though, ABC wants to have it both ways: to tap into America’s favorite domestic pastime (filing for divorce) while avoiding its foremost aversion (watching TV downers).
So, amid Bochco’s trademark mix of slimy behavior and lacerating talk, there’s some nicely measured leavening. A fat, middle-aged appliance salesman winds up in divorce court after he becomes convinced he’s the reincarnation of Elvis. As he lolls behind the defense table in sideburned wig and sequined cape, his shrink informs the judge that he’s just another grab-the-gusto guy pursuing lifestyle options. “Among my patients,” he solemnly adds, “is a woman who believes herself to be Florence Henderson.” As for sexing things up, the Hemingway and Onorati characters, who start out as wary legal partners, eventually answer the call of their pheromones. But not before she dyes her brown locks blond, a move that so dazzles an elderly judge that he gushes from the bench: “I just love what you’ve done to your hair.” All together now: Objection!
Despite such misdemeanors, “Civil Wars” never goes preachy on us and, at times, turns poignantly affecting. An overstressed divorce attorney, weary of functioning as a “minister, confessor and avenger,” suffers a harrowing, clothes-shedding breakdown before his stunned colleagues. A mousy wife, already low in self-esteem, learns from her husband the real reason for his divorce suit: she’s been putting on weight. As her lawyer says, “There are some very sick individuals out there.” Granted, counselor, but how come all of them here happen to be men?
Though Bochco’s ego is Olympian, he’s always known whom to ask for help. The executive producer of “Civil Wars” is William M. Finkelstein, a former divorce lawyer who wrote some of “L.A. Law’s” sharpest episodes. Hemingway, who usually acts as though she’s got performance anxiety, and Onorati, a survivor of Bochco’s calamitous “Cop Rock,” blend like cream and coffee. But Bochco’s smartest move was to ABC. It’s paying him $50 million to create 10 new series–the richest marriage contract in TV history. Now let’s hope that Bochco continues to heed the first law of marital survival: listen to your spouse.
